


And you no longer look with love on me

by iwritetrash



Series: Stormpilot One Shots [22]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Break Up, Reflection, finn breaks up with poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7090621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritetrash/pseuds/iwritetrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> Pity me not the waning of the moon,</i><br/>Nor that the ebbing tide goes out to sea,<br/>Nor that a man’s desire is hushed so soon,<br/>And you no longer look with love on me. </p><p>After Finn breaks up with Poe, Poe reflects on the end of their relationship</p>
            </blockquote>





	And you no longer look with love on me

**Author's Note:**

> This has virtually no plot, and is more of a reflection on the end of their relationship than something which actually shows progress. It is heavily based on the poem 'Pity me not because the light of day' but Edna St. Vincent Millay, one of my all time favourite poems, and I would totally recommend reading the poem to get more of a sense of the emotions behind this (it's only 14 lines, I promise). Anyway, enough of me blabbering on about poetry, enjoy the fic :)

It’s over. Poe knows that. Poe got the message loud and clear when he arrived back at his quarters, having cooled off a little after their fight, to find every single one of Finn’s possessions gone, the jacket Poe had given him folded neatly over his desk chair. Of course, Poe shouldn’t have expected Finn to keep it after their breakup, but it still hurt all the same. It had been a gift, the first suggestion that Poe was falling head over heels for him, and here it was, left behind as if Finn had never owned it at all, with the exception of the patchily stitched-up gash in the back. 

The entire room looked like Finn had never even been there, as though their entire relationship had been a dream. And what a dream it had been, until Finn’s affection seemed to wane.

Of course it was only to be expected with a young man like Finn. Poe shouldn’t have thought that Finn would be so ready to settle down so soon after escaping a lifetime of conformity. He needed to experiment, try new things, get out there, not be tied down by a man in his 30s looking for something serious. Unfortunately they just weren’t quite on the same page. Maybe in another universe, another life.

Poe couldn’t help but feel the crushing ache, however, when he noted the bedsheets, still messy from where they had lain only this morning, tangled up in each other, still seemingly so in love as the morning light floated through the curtains to dapple their skin . He couldn’t help the unbearable pain when his eyes flickered over the empty spaces on Poe’s desk where Finn’s sketchbook had been, and another where he’d kept small mementos he’d collected from all the planets he’d  visited since joining the Resistance, from a cool-coloured  rock to a shell from a beach to a decorated ribbon bought in a busy market place.

In the time they were together, Finn had managed to leave his marks on Poe, like scars on his skin marking him out as Finn’s, a tattoo on his heart that could never be erased, a brand on the back of his eyes that burned Finn’s face into everything he saw.  Finn had impacted him with such permanency that Poe didn’t even know how he could cope without him.

The end had come so suddenly, and yet it had always been inevitable. In a way, it was a beautiful ending to a beautiful story, like the sun setting at the end of a beautiful day, or the seasons drifting from summer into autumn, or the first rays of sun drawing a close to a beautiful night. The difference was, however, that the sun would rise again the next morning to introduce a new day, the seasons would eventually shift back into summer again the next year, and sure enough the night would follow the day, while Poe’s relationship with Finn was unrepeatable. It wasn’t part of a cycle, or a repetition. It was a one-time thing. And it was over.

Poe didn’t even think the ending was the worst part. Of course it was the ending that caused this ache in his chest that felt like it would never fade, but the failure of his heart to recognise the end when his mind and soul already knew? It was crushing.

His heart still yearned for Finn’s presence, his touch, his kiss, despite his distinct conscious recognition that Finn no longer felt the same. It was so soul-shattering to feel his heart leap when he saw him walk past him, or feel his heart pound when he heard his name. Every fibre of that damned organ still clung to Finn’s memory, praying for his love and affection that Poe would never receive again.

_Pity me that the heart is slow to learn  
What the swift mind beholds at every turn._

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the poem mentioned above. Shoutout to XyaLovegood_StormpilotShipper for being my fabulous beta <3


End file.
